The things you learn while traveling with your friends

We were a month away from graduation. My friends and I had been planning to travel after our senior year in college. If you were the type of person who rewards yourself after every mediocre achievement, then you will understand us. But this time, it was not a “mediocre” achievement for us. All three of us were graduating as with Latin honors. If we were to reward ourselves, we wanted it to be memorable. Without second thoughts, we took our graduation money and booked a flight to Hong Kong.

I was nervous. This was my first time traveling without my family. The three of us were dipping our toes in adulthood. Was it a rash decision? Yes? Was it worth it? Absolutely. The three of us have not travelled recently. We were young and dependent on our parents the last time we travelled. This time was different. We only had ourselves to depend on. Funny enough, we were comparable to the three blind mice. We expect ourselves to be lost, desperately trying to grip onto even the slightest feel of familiarity. But even with pessimistic scenarios playing in our minds, I was confident. We may get lost, we may end up spending all our money, but we will survive the same way we survived college—on our own. With this mindset, we took our bags and boarded our plane with excitement in our faces and a thirst for memorable experiences in our minds. So, what did three twenty-year-olds learn in six days?

Independence

From being on the lookout for seat sales to booking our activities, everything was on us. The great thing about this was having the freedom to construct our itinerary. It was difficult, yes, but it all depends on motivation to make this plan happen. We researched about great travel deals, read travel blogs about visiting Hong Kong, became mindful of our expenses, familiarized with the Hong Kong railway map, and planned everything from which place to go and where to eat. There was no one but us to depend on our daily schedule. We had to wake up early, make breakfast, buy our own groceries, and commute to our way to tourist spots.

If you do not know me, I prefer DIY travels rather than itineraries or tours planned out by travel agencies. Planning everything in traveling helps budget the trip and it gives more freedom when exploring. It focuses more on our wants and how much we are willing to spend. And since we neither have a tour guide nor a knowing adult guiding us, we had to find the spots all by ourselves. We got lost numerous times, spent hours walking just to find the restaurant we wanted to dine in, and missed some activities in our itinerary, but it all taught us independence. It taught us to communicate with the locals to know better, to find our own way around places, to budget our expenses, and to be stick to our schedule.

Yes, it was difficult at first. However, once we got the hang of it, we realized how much we have learned since day one. Back in my country, I do not have the slightest idea about our railway map. I was a mere passenger, minding my own business in the back seat. I have no sense of direction. I did not have the guts to go to places alone or with my own money. I did not even know how travel bookings work. Despite all these, traveling without my family instilled in my mind how I only have myself to depend on. There was no one to tell you where to go, no one to guide you, and no one to depend on with your expenses. You cannot just trail behind. You have to find places on your own. You cannot just expect someone to pay for you. All your expenses are up to you. By the end of our trip, we were not just dipping our toes in adulthood, we were living like one. We learned our way around Hong Kong and to explore the way we want to.

Consciousness

I remember being mindful of directions. I had to memorize my way home in case I get lost. I also had to make sure my belongings were safe. Most importantly, I had to present myself in a good manner. There will be no one to correct me if ever I commit a mistake or unknowingly disrespected someone. My friends and I kept this in mind. All three of us had our own map, secured our belongings, and familiarized ourselves with the behavior of the locals. This is not a common practice in the Philippines (although it should be), but we cleaned our tables after eating and practiced silence during train rides. These things are the norm and following these show respect. There is nothing wrong with being carefree. It makes traveling fun when you bravely explore new things without limits. However, there is a difference between carelessness and being carefree. We should know our limits. Enjoy with respect and with an alert mind. Know your way around things, follow their rules, keep track of directions, and look out for yourself.

As I have said before, we have no one but ourselves to lean on. Honestly, we have no one but ourselves even in a lot of aspects in life thus, it is really important to be mindful. You would not have anyone to grab you by the wrist as you mindlessly follow them to some tourist spot. You will have to grab your own wrist. You have to be alert at all times. Traveling with friends is a group effort. No one should merely trail behind and let the others decide. You should take part in every decision that you make. That is why it is so important to be conscious of our surroundings, belongings, actions, and decisions. There will be no one but ourselves to blame if we ever get lost, robbed, ran out of money, or criticized by the locals for our behavior. We have to carry ourselves.

Freedom

As a group of young women traveling with the same interest, of course we would do everything we wanted to do that our family would have not been too excited for. Like every intellectual traveler, our first day was spent in Hong Kong Disneyland. I mean, who wouldn’t? I remember my first time in Disneyland. I was a child who wanted to ride extreme rides, but my parents just wouldn’t let me. This time, I was with my friends. I was lucky enough to have two daredevils who are thirsty for that adrenaline rush as our stomachs turn in every extreme ride. There were even some rides that I would not ride myself, but having friends that are willing to go through the same feeling of dizziness and fear of an abrupt death while falling is pretty motivational. I mean getting cold palms, shaky legs, and teary eyes all at the same time is a pretty great moment to remember. I still laugh every time I remember our desperate cries for help during one extreme ride. You might die from being too daring, but let’s be honest, the most daring experiences are the memorable ones.

Other than rides, traveling with friends actually allowed me to do the boring travel things that I have always wanted to do. Stereotypically, travelling with family means exploring the mainstream spots and eating at some expensive restaurant. Traveling with friends is different. We actually included an activity in our itinerary wherein we observe the everyday life of Hong Kong locals as they rush in and out of the subway. It gave us a glimpse of everyday Hong Kong that cannot be seen in travel spots. We even visited their business district during the day and during the night. The day was busy, but the night was alive. It is something we find interest in that others may not enjoy. In terms of food, we did enjoy a night of street foods and alcohol. Our families may not deem street food as a “proper meal”, but we had the freedom to be unhealthy for a week so, why not?

More importantly, we were at our own pace. We had the freedom to skip activities in our itinerary, to idle, to always stop for food, and to spontaneously buy random things sold in shopping districts. But of course, all were done with a sense of consciousness. Traveling at our own desired pace really opened our eyes to the things around us. We are more willing to see and more open to try new things that we would not normally do.

I guess the best part of traveling with friends was the awareness that all things done are for yourself. You are independent, mindful of yourself, and enjoying the unconventional things that you have always wanted to do. As long as you and your friends share the same interests, everything is done at your own pace. I am not saying that traveling with friends is more preferable. It is also great to share memories with your family. However, there are different lessons that can be learned in both situations. My best advice is to enjoy your travel despite who you are with. It is all about your outlook. Relying on ourselves and on group effort really was the best practice before we fully indulge ourselves to the life of adulthood. Who knows? I might even try traveling alone to improve these skills. But for now, here’s to more travels.

Lots of love,

Raye

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